Pain

This sight caught my eye while driving and I had to stop and take a picture. The funny thing is that I had no idea how my day was going to end, just like this picture, sometimes it is within the strangest experiences that we learn a valid lesson; so here goes the story:

Today I will be as brief as I can and the only reason I am sharing this experience with you is solely so you can believe that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't understand it right now.

I have suffered from kidney problems for 48 long years and during this time doctors would ask me what surgery I had when I was five years old and all I would tell them was what my mother always told me “a valve that was damaging a kidney” but the doctors would look at me like I was crazy because that is not a medical condition. So for 48 years of my life doctors kept guessing and sometimes my situation would get better and other times it would get worse. But, I was finally able to contact my biological mother and very subtly started asking her questions and connecting the dots until I finally learned today that I was born with VUR-Vesicoureteral Reflux.

Children who have grade 4 and 5 reflux may require surgery.

During the procedure, the surgeon will create a flap-valve device for the ureter that will cause urine to flow into the kidney. In more severe cases, the kidney and scarred ureter may need to be surgically removed. This is what happened to me and it took me 48 years to figure it out.

The funny thing is that for 48 years of my life a lot of things were said about my constant hospitalizations but deep down in my heart I knew that one day I would figure it out and work on getting better and here I am today celebrating alone and sharing with you the fact that I found out what I was born with. I had to call my best friend Maria and my sister Mita and after talking to them I shared with them that even though I have endured all these years of pain I hold no animosity towards the whys or whoever didn’t inform me about this sooner. I am thrilled to know that today I can finally understand my body and make sure that I take care of it the best that I can so that it can be with me for a few more years to come.

If I could wait 48 years to find out about a medical condition; I believe we can learn to have the resilience to never give up on our dreams and goals in life. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not worthy, that you are a liar when you share a personal feeling and I conclude with my favorite quote “do not do unto others as you would not like them to do unto you”. If you shed tears today, know that God never leaves us or forsakes us. No matter what you believe in, if you behave well sooner or later it will come back to you somehow; you just have to be patient and wait.

Everything will come in due time. Don't give up, don't give in and be happy for every sunset you can see because many have lost their sight, be happy for every person you can touch because many don't have hands to hug, be happy to wake up and walk because many don't have legs, for everything you have, let that make you grateful; because remember that YOU are unique, and that makes you appreciated, and that special person must be loved by you.

Korean Mitzy